☕️ Alice’s Mad Tea Party Presents: The Dark Shadows of Egyptian Mythology
From the Quill of the Mad Tea MistressMortals, gather close. Do you think Egyptian gods are all gold, sun, and pyramids? Ha! Step carefully. The Nile may gleam, but the truth flows with blood, betrayal, and a thirst for power no mortal law can contain.
Let us begin with Osiris, the god who ruled the living and the dead. Beloved by mortals, betrayed by family. His brother Set envies him, murders him, and scatters his pieces across the land. Mortals tell this part quickly. I will not. Imagine a god dismembered, his body fragments hidden in tombs, the earth itself mourning him. Mortals call him resurrected. I call it revenge, cunning, and cosmic justice.
Enter Isis, sister and wife, whose devotion to Osiris borders on obsession. She gathers his body parts, reassembles him, and uses her magic to bring him back. Mortals swoon over the romance. I sip my tea. Note: this is power politics masquerading as love. Isis wields sorcery like a blade; she is not merely sentimental.
And here is Horus, the son, born to challenge Set. His battles are brutal. He does not merely fight for honor. He fights for survival, legitimacy, and the throne of the living. Mortals love the idea of justice. I remind you, Horus’ justice is bloody, calculated, and merciless. He blinds, strikes, and outwits. This is not playground fun.
Do not forget the minor gods, mortals. Anubis weighs hearts with no hesitation, ensuring that none cheat the scales. Thoth records the judgment, detached, unreadable. The underworld is a place of order, but order here is cold and unforgiving. Mortals may hope for mercy. There is none unless you have earned it- or bribed fate with cunning.
Egyptian mythology is not a parade of benevolent deities. It is a theater of shadow and light, where gods scheme, humans tremble, and death is not the end but another stage of power. I will not rush past the fear, the jealousy, and the ruthless cunning that define this pantheon.
So when you tell your friends that Ra rules all, that the Nile nurtures life, remember: the gods are watching, and they are not benevolent in the way you hope. Respect the shadows, or they will consume you.
Pip’s Editorial Note
Alice has preserved the canonical Egyptian myths without embellishment. Modern retellings often soften Set’s cruelty or romanticize Isis’ magic. Here, the dismemberment of Osiris, the cosmic justice of Horus, and the impartial cruelty of the underworld remain intact.
